Thanks, But No Thanks

This morning Cole brought in a few recent issues of Rolling Stone. I grabbed the one with Sean Penn on the cover, eager to read anything having to do with his performance in "Milk." After finishing that article, I happened to keep reading the very next one, about Ray Kurzweil (the link is a pdf of the article).

That article freaked the shit out of me, in a way that I can't describe to you other than to say that if you read the article, you will know what I mean. I felt sick after reading it. It sets up that Kurzweil is a little batty, but also that he has accurately predicted many technological advances. Then it outlines his newest prediction, The Singularity, which is just about the most disturbing thing I've ever read. Basically, he predicts that in 2045, robots are going to live inside of us, backing up our brains like computers--well, among other things. (The other things are too numerous and strange to go into here--like I said, read it and weep.)

At this point I looked up and said to Cole, "I really don't think it's possible to back up your brain like you back up a hard drive." Cole said that it's quite possible that I am wrong, and he's right-- but I personally don't like to think that the brain is something that we can fully understand. I like that human thoughts and how they work are a sort of unknowable mystery, overall. At least to me. Cole says that anything could be broken down by science, but I honestly think that the idea of taking someone's thought and then being able to accurately reconstruct it sounds more like science fiction.

I think as a person who likes to write and tell stories, the idea that the contents of a brain can just be uploaded and printed out kind of spells the end of storytelling and writing as we know it. I mean, by the time that happens the world will be a very different place anyway. Maybe I should worry about this when it gets closer to being real.

The thing is-- I think every person who wants to write wishes that s/he could articulate his/her ideas in a deeper and more expressive way, but I have a feeling that just being able to read a brain's thoughts in analog or whatever wouldn't necessarily enhance the beauty of a thought as expressed with the perfectly chosen words. I don't know, I feel very inarticulate right now. I don't have any robots helping me.

One particularly disturbing moment: "By scanning the contents of your brain, nanobots will be able to transfer everything you know, everything you have experienced, into a robot or a virtual-reality program. If something happens to your physical body, no problem. Your mind will live on-- forever."

I honestly think that sounds like the freakiest thing possible. A disemodied mind, living in a computer? Kill me now, right? Kurzweil also says that eventually robots will keep us from aging, and he takes 150 pills a day to keep himself young enough to live until that day. Oookay.

The thing is, as much as nobody wants to really think about his/her mortality, I don't think that any of us would want to choose to NEVER die, or to live as a sort of hazy half-person. We aren't prepared to die, but I think we're even less prepared to live forever.

Anyway, although the article builds up the possibility of Kurzweil's future being possible, the author eventually reveals the opinions of a few other top scientist types, who pretty much say that Kurzweil is crazy.

But the most reassuring (in terms of, oh wait, this is guy is probably totally deluded)/freakiest part of the article is the very end, where Kurzweil admits that he's creating these nanobots as a means to reanimate his father, who died in the 1960s. He wants to bring his father back as some sort of robot that has all of his father's memories, thanks to nanobots rooting the memories out of his (Ray's) brain. He says that the first thing he'd tell his father is that he really did get to create music from computers, just as his father hoped he would. That's the part where the story starts to sound like a disturbing movie cliche of a boy who just wants to make his father proud, with a very Frankenstein-y twist. As long as Ray lives he's going to be pushing to develop the technology to make the future he wants possible, and that's just-- disturbing. Scary. On a lighter note-- in the process he has invented a whole bunch of useful devices for the blind, etc.

The thing is-- I wonder what Ray's father would think. I think that an aversion to death and the deaths of others has to do with fear of death-- but once it happens, it happens. I have a feeling that this dead father is okay with being dead by now. Ray wants to create a world where nothing is unknown, where life is the only possibility. But there have to be unknowns in life, I think. There has to be death. I don't want to live in a hyper-technological world. Reading this article almost made me want to go off the grid, or at least go cavort with Mother Nature more often. Seriously.

Well, I'm hoping that the people who said that this isn't really as possible as Ray thinks are right. Maybe in four hundred years from my robot body I'll be posting some sort of retraction to this entry, using videos of my memories as illustrations. Hopefully not, though.

Or maybe I'll come around to it. If nanobots are running around (and Ray Kurzweil is still alive), I might not have a choice.

Destiny Sucks, or Sensitivity Calls

A few days ago I overheard some of my co-workers talking about the viral ad campaign for the new season of "Lost," and questioning whether the fake billboards for Ajira Airways were really going to pull oblivious non-viewers into watching the show. I didn't really think about it, because I don't watch the show.

I first noticed the fake logo on the side of one of the trucks here at the lot. The only reason I made the connection to "Lost" was because a) The logo seemed fake to me, and b) The logo was framed by the tagline "Destiny Calls." Up until this week, the truck had a picture of the cast of "Lost" framed by the same tagline, so I put two and two together.

I noticed my first Ajira Airways billboard on my way to work today. Same tiger, same "Destiny Calls."

Now, whatever. Viral marketing, fake companies, it happens. So far I have only seen one scrawly red "Who Watches the Watchme..." spray-painted as if it were legit graffiti on a wall, and I can understand the sort of freaky appeal of fiction creeping up on our real lives. When I saw that graffiti I wasn't sure at first if it was some excited fan or some corporate ad campaign, and it definitely made me want to email my friends who worked on it and/or are big "Watchmen" fans.

The thing that really bothers me is the idea of "Destiny Calls" vis-a-vis a show that is centered around a plane crash (and I know, I know, this ISN'T the same airline as the fake airline that crashed in the first season of this show--but still). Somehow this says to me, "Come ride our fake airline, for your Destiny is to be in a plane crash." And something about that seems very wrong, in light of the recent miracle-crash on the Hudson and the tragi-crash in Buffalo. The Hudson incident was such a triumph that the Buffalo crash felt all the worse, I think. We crashed back down to earth, in more ways than one. If destiny is what called all of these people to die so tragically, then destiny sucks. Destiny sucks ass.

I watched the "60 Minutes" interview with captain "Sully" Sullenberger, and in one segment where he met the passengers, a man said to him, "My brother died on 9/11, and I don't think my family could have handled another blow like this. Thank you for saving my life." When I recounted that story to my family over Thai food last weekend, I was nearly in tears. It is just... beyond cruel that Beverly Eckert died in a plane crash while traveling to Buffalo to commemorate her husband who died on 9/11. This plane was like a "Who's Who" of good people, of people who were trying to make a difference. I'm not saying that these people were better than other people who died in plane crashes. I'm just saying that it sucks to lose people, and it especially feels strange not to know that these interesting people existed until a circumstance happens that makes them cease to exist.

I think a lot of my taking issue with this lies in how one defines the word "destiny." It can be a good thing or a bad thing-- "I was destined to find this wedding dress," etc. BUT this is a show centered around a plane crash, so I'm going to venture to say that perhaps they are wanting us to make the fly this airline/get-in a-crash connection.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines destiny (n.) as "The power or agency by which, according to various systems of philosophy and popular belief, all events, or certain particular events, are unalterably predetermined; supernatural or divine pre-ordination; overruling or invincible necessity; = FATE." Following that thread, "fate" is defined as, "The principle, power, or agency by which, according to certain philosophical and popular systems of belief, all events, or some events in particular, are unalterably predetermined from eternity. Often personified," but further definitions break it down into "doom"... "death, destruction [and] ruin."

I guess I just find it to be in bad taste on the heels of several airplane crashes to have an ad campaign featuring a fake airline, accompanied by words implying that--should you fly this airline-- your doom awaits, most likely via airplane crash. As Cole and I like to say, "Too soon! Too soon!"

Auto-Tune This

While I was at home this weekend, I stumbled upon this article in Time magazine, about the now-ubiquitous use of Auto-Tune. I have been thinking about it ever since (well, on and off-- not obsessively), because overall it's a totally fascinating concept. Having been involved in sound last year, I am kind of bummed that I never got a chance to play around with Auto-Tune, just to see what it's like to sing into a device and hear it perfect my pitch in crazy space robot-esque manner. I really think that there needs to be some sort of mass market Auto-Tune toy. I would love to play with it all day (and utterly annoy everyone around me, I'm sure).

But-- as the article states-- it is kind of sad that anybody can run their voice through a subtle Auto-Tuning. There is something to be said for imperfections. I have heard that some older people are bothered by the fact that CDs don't have that scratchy turntable imperfection that records used to have. I guess our generation will look back wistfully on a time when voices were voices, perfect or not.

This also creates an environment where anybody could record a song, for better or for worse. (Well, if they're really out of tune the Auto-Tune can only go so far. Remember Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta? Yeah.) Is this opening up the field in a positive way, or is it just allowing mediocrity to reign?

On a positive note, now there is a chance that I could someday record a hit song.

And I have Real Housewives on the brain because season two of the New York cast premieres tonight. I have realized that I love watching drama on TV and keeping the dramz out of my real life. I don't know if those two things are related somehow-- like if people who don't get drama from their entertainment seek it in real life. One of my friends was telling me about her life and asking how a certain event in her life would have played out, if it took place in a story that I was writing (or I guess a TV show-- a lot of times in my short stories people just sit around and make vague, bleak statements).

I said, "Look-- if it were a story I'd want things to happen that would fan the drama flame. But in real life relationships, not so much." It was the first time I'd really articulated the fact that stories are not the same as real life, and why. I was kind of proud of myself, for knowing the difference. I mean, I'm not saying that all stories are or should be drama on the high seas. But, you know.

My other friend, R, noticed this about me. She was complaining that so many of her friends come to her with problems that they want her to solve, and said that the reason she likes chatting online with me (we both work at computers most of the day) is that I'm not looking for a shoulder to cry on.

R: I like that you want no therapy [from me]
R: I like that you're relatively problemless
R: It makes you easy to love

While my drama-free attitude makes me easy to love in real life, my willingness to dish on other peoples' drama makes me a good chat-friend. She and I love talking about celebrities' gossip and problems because those people are basically not real to us. They are not seeking our free therapy.

Note: I am probably not problemless so much as I try not to spin things into problems.

Next time I think I will write about my many-splendored views on love.

Tug-of-War

I am in a tug-of-war between wanting to write on my memory-packed Xanga and wanting to start afresh here. I don't like letting go of sentimental things.

My problem with Xanga is not so much that it's memory-packed, but more that it's Xanga. I prefer Blogspot, but I'm sure if I move here I'll want to relocate once again, when something more appealing comes along. In search of the perfect blog-host.

I am also constantly debating how much to really share about myself. As I get older and information gets more and more easy to come by, I find myself valuing my privacy. It's kind of a surprise because I never saw myself as a particularly private or mysterious person, but now I kind of want to be one. I see that I used to drop a lot more information in my Xanga entries, and now I am a lot more hesitant. I didn't even do that 25 things questionnaire that went viral on Facebook. Although now that it has come to light that Facebook has devised a plot to own everything that we post there, I'm starting to wonder if the creators weren't just trolling for interesting ideas for stories and characters. But I feel like people who blatantly steal other peoples' content for profit are probably not storytellers at heart.

So yeah, laying it all out for everybody to see vs. buttoning my lip. I feel like this must be a common struggle for people who want to write. There are a lot of writers who somehow seem to manage to seem totally confessional and be fairly private, all at once. Smoke and mirrors.

I bought a new shampoo and conditioner and today my curls look a little curlier and more structured, despite the rain. And yes, I am still using the same after-shower hair products.

The clouds are haulin' it across the sky, post-sideways crazy rain. I'm sure there will be more rain shortly.