Eazy Breezy Grilled Cheezy

First of all, I have a strange relationship with cheese. When I was a kid I used to eat all sorts of weird cheese-related foods. I remember sitting in the living room of my family's old house with my mom and eating little rice cakes with cheese melted on them. I ate those cheese melties and I held my blankie in both hands and spun it around until it was all wound up. It might have been the best day ever. That was circa age 3. I don't know if we ever ate that snack again. Anyway.

As I grew older I became less enamored of cheese in general, especially because it's often pretty fattening. I don't know what came first, my distaste for cheese or knowing it was fattening. But that's another dissertation. I also seem to remember eating bites of my mom's food when I was a kid without really questioning whether or not I personally liked whatever was on tap. I must have liked cheese a lot at some point though, because my parents used to call American Cheese "Wunky Cheese" because Wunky was my nickname growing up (in case you're wondering, it didn't stick), so I'm assuming that I ate a lot of that cheese.

Oh! Random side-story. When I was a kid I was really paranoid about food being poisonous or something (and to this day I'm still a fairly paranoid person). One day my mom bought some Land o' Lakes cheese slices (because that was the brand we always bought) and I noticed that the yellow cheese had splotches of white, and I thought it was FUNGUS or MOLD or something. So we called the company and found out that the cheese was ACTUALLY WHITE. They were dying the cheese yellow! So the whiteness was not fungus. It was the real color of the cheese! That blew my mind. That's when I knew that nothing is what it seems.

Anyway, back to the entree story. When I was a kid and I wanted grilled cheese sandwiches, this was how my mom made them:

Step 1: Toast the bread
Step 2: Put the cheese in between the toasted slices
Step 3: Microwave the bread for a few seconds
Step 4: Voila! Enjoy.

I was perfectly happy with that. Hooray! But then for years and years I didn't eat grilled cheese, so I didn't even think about it. When I was in high school my friend talked about how she made grilled cheese on the stove, and I was like, "Jigga what?!" And then I started asking around and found out that everyone else made grilled cheese on the stove! And they all thought my family was crazy! So now whenever people mention grilled cheese sandwiches, I always tell them my family's odd grilled-cheese-making method, because I like it when people laugh and say, "You and your family are a bunch of loonies!"

So yesterday I was at my internship and the boss-lady asked if the assistant and I would like grilled cheese for lunch. We said yes, and it was a funny coincidence because lately I have been back into cheese. I have even been making quesadillas in the microwave (I know!). So I volunteered my family's funny method, and my boss decided to teach me how to cook like a real person.

I got nervous and had a flashback to this time when I was little and in my cheese-not-liking and weird-smells-make-me-barf phase (circa age 8) and my sister and I went to play with some friends (they were twins! from Australia!) and their mom made some sort of garlic cheese toast and I flipped a shit and mortally embarrassed myself.

But then I remembered that I'm no longer a cheese-fearing mega-freak. And my internship boss showed me how to make a real grilled cheese:

Step 1: Melt butter in pan (on stove!)
Step 2: Make the sandwich (muenster cheese between bread slices)
Step 3: Put the sandwich in the pan, add a little more butter and flip

Things started out really well, but the stove was on high and I burned the butter. It was all brown and nasty. So the assistant came and bailed me out, and I learned her method, which is apparently the common one.

Step 1: Assemble the sandwich (cheese between bread slices)
Step 2: Butter the outside of the sandwich!!!
Step 3: Put the sandwich in the pan, and later flip it

So I did it! And then the assistant cut the sandwiches into triangles, and I must say that they were delicious (the bread was a little bit too toasty, but not detrimentally so).

Buttering the outside of the bread! What a total revelation!

Why didn't I think of that? (The tagline is going to get old really soon, but let's go with it for now)

Not My First Time-- But it's Still Special!

Hello and welcome to my blogspot. I've been blogging in obscurity over at xanga for longer than I'd like to admit, but for many moons now I've fantasized about getting a blogger profile (yeah, that's a pretty weird fantasy). A few days ago I had a dream that I started a blog called "them apples," but unfortunately that name was taken by somebody who doesn't actually appear to blog.

I told myself that if I every got a blog on here that I would dedicate it to something specific so that I wouldn't feel like I was cheating on my other blog (blog whore!). I haven't thought of that specific thing yet. I write about my dreams in private posts on Xanga, but maybe I'll write them here now. Ooh, I love that my blog is being saved automatically every time I stop typing. I'm in the lap of luxury now!

I look forward to continuing to blog for niche audiences (two unread blogs at once...can you guess that I'm an aspiring writer?). Hi mom!

And no, I don't like applesauce* or practice sorcery. I am saucy, though!

*except on latkes

So while you're waiting for me to actually say something relevant, go visit Jezebel, Defamer, PostSecret, Overheard in NY, I Found Your Camera, or Stuff White People Like. They're all saying and doing clever clever things.

Why didn't I think of that?