What's in a Decade?

First of all, I'm listening to the new Death Cab single. I didn't even know that they had a new single until my friend sent me a link to the video. I'm out of the loop. The cover art for the single and the upcoming album looks amazing. I kind of want to buy a poster version of the cover art and frame it and put it in my new apartment. My new apartment which doesn't yet exist.

My life is completely hypothetical starting a month from now. I cannot really get over that. I am interviewing for internships even though I need to find a paid job, just because it's terrifying to think that I might have no prospects on the morning after I graduate. I know I keep harping on this and some day I will look back and say, "Why did I worry so much?" and tell college seniors to just go with the flow. I know because I always look back and wonder why I worried so much. But then I think that maybe if I hadn't worried, things might not have turned out the same. Hmm.

Anyway, due to my worrying, my heavy book tote, and the fact that I usually write on my laptop while propped on my elbows in bed (today I'm sitting up), my whole body feels achy and wanky. My neck is a particular trouble area. I know basically zero about muscles (film and writing major here) and the art of massage, but last night two of my friends felt my neck and went, "Whoa! This is not good." Of course my neck is strained; it's holding up my GIANT BRAIN. Just kidding. Although if thoughts and worries had weight to them, my head would probably have toppled off of my neck long ago. But yeah, if I touch my neck it hurts. Sometimes too much to sleep. If I'm stressed now and things aren't even THAT stressfull, I probably have this to look forward to for the rest of my life. GREAT. I mean, I realize that I'm particularly stressed right now, but you know what else is stressful? HAVING a job. Growing up. Kids. Oh God.

A couple of days ago at the sound department, one of my 22-year-old co-workers (male) mentioned that he would like to be a father when he's 27. Another female co-worker and I pointed out that if that's what he wants, he should really be married within the next three years. So he should really meet his wife ASAP. No pressure. This guy just recently quit smoking, and he admitted (maybe jokingly) that it's partially about finding a girl (kudos to him either way). But anyway, the point is that these timelines are starting to form. (As a side note, though, as a guy it's easy for my friend to say he wants to have kids sooner than me and the other girls, because once he has kids he doesn't have to be the mom. The stakes are different.)

Yesterday I was thinking about the word "decade." It's such a small easy way of saying TEN YEARS, but the funny thing about decade is that sometimes it's used to denote a long stretch of time, and sometimes it's meant to compress time. I could say, "Decades ago women wore corsets," and that's kind of neutral. But if I went to an interview and they said, "We'll call you sometime in the next decade," that would seem ludicrous. Or when I talk to people and realize that it could take a decade to reach my career goals, that seems like forever, even though I'll only be in my early 30s in a decade (only, ha). But then when I think that within a decade I will probably be married and have two kids, it feels like, "Oh my God, a decade is too short! It's just around the corner." Sort of.

Don't get me wrong--I am looking forward to this next step. It's just a scary, strange transition involving so many decisions. That's why I'm kind of obsessing over it. Eventually I'll write another post about something more fun than my neuroses. Hopefully.